So many letters 

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So many letters. 

Letters from my, 

Sophomore, 

Junior, 

And senior year of highschool. 

So many people claimed so many things. 

So much love and care swiped under the rug. 

Like it never existed. 
Now hateful words are what fills those hallways. 

Now I realize,

Why no one stays friends with the people they 

once loved from high school. 

Because once you’re gone you’re gone. 

Out of sight, 

Out of mind. 
So I’ll sit here and remember all those nights you 

say you’ll never forget. 

And you all stay there, 

And forget with every passing day. 

I know you all have forgotten. 

Or trying to forget. 

Why? 

I will never know. 

There might be reasons but they are in the past, 

And resolved. 

But I forgot you guys love to hold grudges, 

Even when it’s not your place. 

Next to me

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You’re the only one allowed to sleep in my bed. I have had many people take the spot next to me. 

Friends, 

Lovers, 

Family. 

But non of the compare, 

To the calm your presence brings me. 

I don’t know if it’s you’re breathing. 

Or feeling your heart beat beneath my hand. 

You calm me. 

You bring me ease. 

You are a comfort, 

I have never experienced. 

All you do is hurt. 

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You say you want me in your life. 

But you don’t show it.

Sleeping at my house doesn’t mean shit. 

Coming to my side doesn’t mean shit. 

If I hear you’re just talking to smack, 

While you “defend” me. 

Trying to get under my skin, 

Just to “thinken” it, 

Hurts. 

Putting me in your phone as “do not answer”,

Even as a joke,

Hurts. 

Being lovey in private, 

But not public, 

Hurts. 

PRETENDING TO BE THE PERSON I DEFEND, 

Fucking hurts. 

All you’re doing is hurting me.  

But you want to turn around and get in my pants. 

I make the effort to be honest,

To be a good person towards you. 

But you just can’t find that within yourself, 

Can you.  

Circles

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I didn’t feel the urge to write when I was with you. 

I figured out, 

A long time ago. 

That I would probably stop writing,

When I was truly happy. 
I write about sadness,

Tragedy, 

Betrayal, 

And the overall depression that life can bring. 

But you changed me. 
You made me smile with a touch, 

Giggle with a single word,

& fill me with joy with music. 

You really were one for the books. 
But what you’ve done is almost unforgivable. 

But god knows I’ll eventually forgive you. 

Just because of who I am as a person. 

I’m a lover. 

But you’re a fighter. 

And we’re just running in circles. 

Swimming pool

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I have so much love in me. 

So much that I will give it to anyone. 

But sometimes they drown. 

And get out of the pool of emotions. 

Dry off,

And walk away. 

I’m just a swimming pool, 

To be used when felt lonely. 

So they can be submerged,

In warmth & love. 

Until it gets to hot. 

Favorite person 

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You are my favorite person. 

You make me want to live fully. 

You make my smile stretch wider,

Everyday. 

When you stay over, 

You are my favorite part of waking up. 

Your scent puts me in a trance, 

While making me feel safer than ever. 

When you kiss me goodnight, 

It’s all I can think about, 

Until I crawl into bed. 

You’re a piece I never knew was missing. 
I always said, 

I would probably stop writing when I was truly happy. 

And it’s been awhile, 

Since I’ve put thoughts to paper. 

But you make me so happy. 

I don’t want to waste anytime writing about it. 

I just wanna live it. 

I just want you to be my two arms & heartbeat,

I call home. 

She’s ignoring me 

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She’s ignoring me. But I’m a very persistent person. 

I will break down this wall, 

She has built. 

Until my knuckles bleed. 
I am not weak, 

Or desperate for coming back. 

She left me. 

When I needed her most. 

She left me. 

We promised each other, 

We were in it for the long run. 

Some people are worth fighting for. 

I found a diamond in the rough. 

An angel hidden as a person. 
She’s ignoring me because we lost a year. 

A year of back scratches. 

A year of midnight heart to hearts. 

A year of laughing till we cry. 

A year of memories to last life times. 

A year of smoking til we can’t breathe. 

A year of time we will never see again. 

But we can move forward. 

I love this girl, 

Is if she was my sister. 
But she’s not, 

And she’s ignoring me. 

And my knuckles are starting to bruise. 

You’re starting to stay

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You’re starting to stay. You used to come to parties, 

And leave early. 

You used to sleep over, 

But when our friends stayed too, 

You’d be in another room.  
But you fell asleep in my room. 

And when the party ended, 

I asked you to move over, 

& you did. 

No hesitation.  
The first ride out the next morning. 

Your best friend. 

You got your stuff out of his car, 

And returned to bed. 
When I got scared last night at the movies. 

You asked me if I was okay. 

And did every time I jumped. 
You’re starting to stay. 

And I’m starting to fall. 

Heat lightning 

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Tonight was the epitome of a summer night. 

We sat in a circle, 

Tossing wood in the middle, 

Making the flame grow stronger. 

Telling stories of our younger days. 

Laughing till we cry. 

Feeling nostalgia in wounds we thought had closed. 
We said good night, 

And promised more memories tomorrow. 

I went my separate way to a small beach. 

I saw some light in the distance, 

But I ignored it & kept driving. 

When I arrived, 

I opened my sunroof to stargaze. 

Instead was met by seconds of bright light through my windshield. 

Heat lightning. 
Sitting here thinking of the night, 

And the nights to come.   

My blood races, 

At the thought of future possible evenings. 

Just like this one. 

Maybe this is the summer, 

Our dreams come true. 

Maybe these are the months,

People will listen about in awe,

Wishing they were by our side.