Two weeks with no contact.
This being my own decision,
Today I lifted the ban.
I asked you if you can give me the money you owe me.
I had to be straight forward.
I can not let you weasel your way into my life again.
You used my generosity as a crutch.
It drained me.
12 months of draining.
You laid out some of your problems,
Reasons to delay payment.
I feel pitty.
My instincts push me to try to comfort you,
And offer a shoulder to cry on.
But I have to be strong.
You mention your stress.
But also drop some truth bombs in.
A realization moment for me.
Do you finally understand everything I’ve done for you?
“Yea I owe you your money, Yea I owe you more than money.”
You owe me time,
And a whole year of my life.
These are things you can never give back to me.
Because I will be smarter.
I will not fall for that again.
But I did.
I did see you this night we did get together.
But that night brought me so much comfort.
You laid on my lap like a baby.
Yearning for the type of love,
That had been bestowed upon you for the past year.
You too were oddly affectionate.
I knew this was a front,
To try to seem apologetic for all the problems you created.
But when I left your home later that evening.
I felt nothing for you.
Romantically or physically.
This new found information felt cleansing.
My love for you died a tragic death.
The most tragic of all is,
Not only was it losing me,
But having to live the rest of your life knowing no one will ever see what I saw within you.