I stared at the clocks as I lay there in his arms.
It felt like hours but only seconds ticked by.
we tried to keep the conversation going
but our words were slurring and sleep was consuming us.
What could i say, our eyelids were heavier than our thoughts.
When I awoke hours later,
the sun had not yet,
and neither had he.
I lay there and looked up at him.
so peaceful & lost within the abyss of his dreams.
I had heard that sleeping with someone is the ultimate sign of trust.
Letting them see you at your most vulnerable.
There was something there that night,
I felt it.
After that night feelings were developed.
But lies were spread
And people were believed.
When the lies traveled back to me,
I looked at the clock
But time had simply stopped.
My breathing was rugged and the tears were starting.
Betrayed, deceived, deserted..
they continued to spew within my mind
The butterflies turned into moths.
The boy who lit the darkest parts of my mind.
Had now broken through the cages that protected my heart.
And used the same piercing that used to sit within his eyes,
To instead stab me.
Today I sit here looking at that same clock.
Living blindly but with a new kind of armor.
After rebuilding the cages around my heart.
With unbreakable bonds.
No one will break through.
I live scared to feel
As if I am betraying someone.
I will sit in the dark,
Making sure to never be hurt again.