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Humans are the most complex creatures in the universe. Feelings intertwined with other feelings,  infinite possibilities of mixed emotions; one of the hardest things to do as a human is to forgive. We hold grudges just to bring back old fights, anything to release our true feelings  because we are not satisfied with how things ended the last time.  As a writer I am forced to see all sides of people, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Creating characters for stories, it is essential to realize that flaws are inevitable, and that stories are just a twist on reality but just as truthful. So, in my reality,  when he took his anger towards the world and lashed out at me, I eventually came to realize that everyone has bad days and they aren’t anybody’s fault.

My ability to forgive has been more of a curse than a blessing. When you can forgive your childhood bully and move on from the past, even become good friends, that is when you realize you hold a very rare and powerful trait: the art of forgiveness. Not only did this boy torment me and call me nasty names, but he also made me into a person I never thought, at the age of 13, I could become: depressed and alone. My mind went to dark places. I am not ashamed of my past because it is a part of me. People ask me if I could go back in time and not have started a conversation with him, preventing the future torment, would I. The answer is no. I would still start that conversation, because I am who I am because I took a risk to befriend the boy I had a crush on, the same boy who almost pushed me to want to leave this earth. When you come from a broken home of divorced parents and an abusive older brother, you seek comfort in your friends. I tried to make more friends. It harmed me more than it helped, but that’s okay.

Today we walk, talk, and laugh together. My friends now know our past, and because of them, including him, I have memories to last lifetimes. The people I surround myself with now mean more to me than family; they saved me from the darkness of my mind, and for that I am forever grateful. I have lost more than I have gained in my high school career; but to be blunt, my friends love me deeply, and isn’t that better than what most high-schoolers get? I would take the boy I have learned to love as a brother, even after everything he put me through, over a billion friends any day. I know he is truly sorry for all the pain he caused me, and that is good enough for me. There is good in everyone, and sometimes patience, kindness, and forgiveness is all you need to find it.