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I used to fall in love a lot.

I fell in love with the way the leaves fell from the trees.

I fell in love with the way the water so gently rose on the sand.

I fell in love with the way words touched me emotionally.

I fell in love with the english language,

And the characters I read about.

But most importantly I fell in love with you.

But you are not here.

And I am sitting on the cold floor,

Writing about you.

Again.

The thing is,

The things I used to fall in love with could have never hurt me.

But you had to change that,

Didn’t you?

You just sat back,

And watch my life fall apart.

Because thats what happiness is to you.

Your perception of happiness is to get sucked into a toxic relationship.

And disregard the people who actually cared about you.

Thats right cared.

They say once you love something,

Especially if you have loved it with your whole mind and body.

That you can never Un-love that thing.

But you made that possible.

You made me do this.

So don’t you come around here.

And tell us this was our doing.

That the reason we are not friends anymore was our decision.

You did this to yourself.

You have taught me that love is just another useless emotion.

That it will come,

And if pushed hard enough…

Go.

Now I live a life of passionless surroundings.

If you were to ask me what I love.

I can only say myself.

Because I may have hurt myself in the past.

But I have always been there to clean up the pieces.

Because in the end all we have is ourselves.

So thank you for this burdening lesson.

I will carry it in the back of my mind for the rest of my life.

But lets be serious.

How long could I possibly have left