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The Christmas cards have all been sent.

But for some reason I can’t get into the holiday cheer.
This season is my favorite.
Normally filled with happiness and excitement.
Memories with family and friends.
So why am I so sad?
Is it because I’m moving,
Out of the town I’ve called home for 18 years.
Or because I have to see only half my family every holiday.
It’s probably because I do not feel the love.
The that used to help me get through everyday.
The eternal love of friendship.
Something is missing,
Or something has disappeared.
But we are not the same as we were.
I know the saying people change.
But if they did.
It was damn quick.
Maybe I just need to realize I will never be a valuable member of our group.
That I am as replaceable as anyone else that comes through.
But they will never know how much of myself I have sacrificed to them.
But that doesn’t matter in this world does it?
These people have made me cynical to life.
They have made me believe that no matter what you are replaceable.
And that’s what I have to get through my head.
I guess I can forget having a happy Christmas season.