It’s almost been a year.
A year since I first inhaled you.
And indulged myself in your aroma.
Since you wrapped your arms around me,
And gave me a chance in the life I would later beg to stay in.
Since our once or twice became a couple of times a month.
Since you’ve redefined my standards of how to be treated.
Since you opened up this lethal feeling in my soul.
Since you gave me so many nights of ecstasy;
in the back of the only place I am truly comfortable.
A place I would make my own safe hide away.
For those hours we hid from the world,
No minute wasted or taken for granted,
Because we didn’t know when the next time would be.
Although this year has held a lot.
I wish you held me more.
That it didn’t have to end when the heat was out.
Even though our heat never really went out it just got to late.
For me the whole experience was new.
But the newest thing for me was the last time we were together.
Because I didn’t know that the last time would be the last time.
I thought there would be more.
So when I said goodbye,
I didn’t mean it.
I didn’t want that to be our last.
At that point I had imagined so much for us.
But you were so nonchalant.
It haunts me.
Did you know that that would be our last?
Did all of the things you told loose meaning when we left that safe place?
But this was partly my fault.
I didn’t know I was going to fall so hard.
I didn’t even know I could fall this hard.
I gave you the wrong impression and by the time I realized.
It was too late.
You don’t know how much I would give up.
To go back to that first night.
And do it all deferentially.
Knowing what I do know,
Just so I could end up,