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A song from my favorite movie is on repeat. 
“I started a joke, which started the whole world crying” 

The slow melody made me feel like everything wasn’t real. 

Like I was in some sort of dream. 

I dropped my bag. 

My friends sat in a circle around me. 

I started to walk towards the open road. 

“I didn’t see that the joke was on me” 

It was around 3 am so there were barely an cars on the road. 

But that didn’t stop me. 

I heard a rumble in the distance.  

And then I felt those headlights on me. 

My friends rushed to my side and pulled me to the sidewalk. 

I couldn’t help but start to cry. 

“I started to die, which started the whole world living” 

Let me go is all I kept repeating as they stood there holding me. 

I had never seen them like this.

Holding me to make sure I felt their love. 

They wouldn’t let go. 

They sat with me while I released every pain ridden tear from my body. 

What had happened earlier in the night felt unreal. 

How could this be happening again. 

Is all of this real? 

“I started to cry which started the whole world laughing” 

This has to be a dream. 

I felt lifeless and not human. 

I don’t want to feel the pain anymore. 

I looked at my best friend.

He stood there not willing to let go. 

And asked him. 

Are you ready?

This is what happens to me. 

Bad things happen to me. 

Can you handle that?

Are you up for it?

He didn’t want to believe that all this heartbreak could reside in a person so calm. 

He doesn’t realize how many times I have fought this fight. 

But he grabbed my hand & assured me he was up for it.

I just hope he doesn’t turn out like the others.