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The lighting elegantly illuminates the sky. 

As I sit here and let the sadness pour out of my body. 

Letting the bass engulf my being. 

Trying to imagine anything but this. 
This week has drained me. 

I have survived so much. 

My life is filled trade by and sadness. 

But I always come out smiling. 

But this time. 

I just don’t think I have it in me. 

To hold the corners of my mouth up for another second. 

This is the one. 

I think this is the one that will end me. 

My kindness. 

My forgiveness 

My loving and hopeful outlook for the world. 

I think it disappeared once I got that text message. 

Mind you. 

I have been through: 

Growing up with divorced parents. 

Abusive siblings. 

Child rapists. 

Intense bullying. 

And the loss of so many friends. 
But I survived. 

And I grew and moved on. 

But this boy. 

Single handedly. 

Took down every wall I built. 

To try to keep the sadness out. 

The little lights in my heart are almost out. 

I don’t know how much more darkness I can handle. 

I hope someone has a spare bulb.