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I have lost them. 

But can you really loose someone you never really had? 

My boys. 

The guys I talked so fondly of. 

They are all gone. 

You’re probably wondering, 

Well what did you do?

But that’s the thing. 

All I did was leave. 

I moved because I didn’t have a choice. 

But I came back. 

Because I can’t live without them. 

They were my world. 

They were my people. 

But me leaving was all it took for them to forget. 

Forget about the memories. 

And the plans for the future. 
Now I’m lost.

I put my life into people who just needed certain things. 

Whether it was somewhere to smoke,

Or drink.

Somewhere to go when there was no where else. 

A person who they knew would be there for them.

But you are probably wondering,

But thats friendship.

But love. 

Its only friendship if its two sided. 

And I was the only one willing to sacrifice. 
I sacrificed three years of my life.

To people who took parts of me, 

And crushed them right infant of my eyes. 

I let them destroy me. 

And that is my own fault. 

I thought I could change. 

A Bully. 

Druggies.

A liar. 

I searched for the good in them. 

And they showed me only what I wanted to see. 

And I was stupid enough to fall for it.